9069 Nemo Street, West Hollywood, CA 90069


Wow. For those of you as selective and “snobbery” as I tend to be about places I trust with handling things of a personal nature (grooming and body treatments)– THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE to hand that hard- earned trust over to.

John does the most thorough and elegant body scrub. A must. Juan’s rep as the most skilled of masseuses is no passing fad or trend – he is the Real Deal, and worth every 5 star review.

Nancy, who handles every customer as if you are the most VIP referral from The Montage or Peninsula, is extraordinary.

Regardless of if you’re in need of an outstanding cut or blow out, or to release your tension and stress with an excellent body treatment or massage —

This small gem in the heart of LaLa Land rivals ANY spa treatment you’ll find at exclusive 5-Star resorts and spas (and I’ve been fortunate to try many, from Manhattan to Laguna Beach to Palm Springs to Arizona to Beverly Hills.)

The impossible-to-please snob in you — will be thrilled you trusted and tried. Promise.

To the elegant owner TOPPER: your gifts to discerning clientele of LA are so deeply appreciated and respected. KUDOS.

Kelly G. – Sherman Oaks CA 05/30/15

After trying different stylist in town, Josh Stinnett IS my stylist – he knows hair and takes the time to give you the fresh cut you want!

Chris S. – Los Angeles CA 02/08/15

Just got out from my deep tissue massage and it was amazing! I’m still here waiting for my friend but while I wait, I think I’ll just sip on some water and take a cookie from the cookie jar.. As I stay warm by the fire. Yes, by the fireplace. The ambiance is so welcoming and the service from beginning to (well I’m still here so I can’t say end yet. But it’s looking good so far).. It was awesome, will be back!

Leanne O. – Los Angeles CA 12/11/14

Had a massage by javier this afternoon and it was one of the best ive ever had. Patient, slow, stong and intuitive. He also personified the tremendous vibe of kindness and generosity that appear to be the defining “brand” of this place. The tone is set by owner Topper Schroeder, who treats every guest like family. If you want to be welcomed as a friend and treated like a prince, this is the place to go. Bravo guys

Keith M. – Los Angeles 11/01/14

Before I go into details about my experience at the Gendarmerie, I would like to say that this place is the spot where I want to be at all times. I fall in love with this place after my first visit. I am writing this review while I am on my flight to Hong Kong.

I used my three-hour layover in LAX airport to visit the Gendarmerie. I did not mind at all the fact that I had to take a taxi for 45 minutes to get there. When I got there, I was greeted by the Gendarmerie owner, Topper, and served with a glass of delicious red wine. I had an amazing conversation with Topper about my flight from Austin to LA, my trip to the bay area the week before, and my future plans. After 30 minutes passed, I got a body scrub followed by a nice relaxing body massage.

The massage I got was probably the best one I have ever received in a long time. My masseuse, Juan, is an expert at what he is doing. He adjusted his massage to fit my preferences. With a calming music playing in the background and a marvelous body massage, the fatigue I got from sitting on the plane was gone, and I felt so refresh and delightful. In fact, I have held off on the massage until I arrive in LA because I know that I cannot get the massage anywhere else like “the G,” especially Juan’s.

Actually, right now I am about eight hours into my flight, and I still feel great. I am so glad I got the massage. In my perspective, the Gendarmerie is not a business but it is a community full of amazing people that happens to provide incredible services. I can spend the whole day at the place. Everybody is so nice and genuine; I have become friends with them right away during my first visit. The place feels like home to me. When I left the place to head back to the airport, I gave Topper a hug instead of a hand shake. I know that a business would feel lucky when customers continuously support them; however, with the Gendarmerie, I actually feel lucky that there is a place on earth like “the G.”

Everybody who is in LA should go check out the place, you won’t regret it; in fact, you will go back there again just like I did.

Kim H.

When I visit LA I always go to the Gendarmerie it’s amazing , I book John he dose the most amazing body scrub. The location is great and it’s very relaxing.

Tim S.

After working 9 days in a row I needed some relaxation and relief from the pain in my back and legs from being on my feet do long. I moved to LA 3 months ago and the chain spas just don’t do it for me. As soon as I walked in I was greeted by Nancy the sweet receptionist who introduced me to Topper the owner who offered me a much needed cocktail. It was his birthday so the whole place was filled with food, desserts and drinks. Amazing! I waited for a few minutes then met Javier who asked me a few questions before getting started with my massage. I don’t know what he did but I walked out of there feeling like a new man. As painful as it got at times it felt that much better in the end and was well worth the money. Will definitely be back!!

Wayne S.

Hands down the best massage I’ve EVER had! Juan is AMAZING and the rest of the staff is ridiculously nice. I will visit next time I’m in LA for sure. This is a must-visit spa!

Ethel M.

I was looking for a good massage in the area and googled for the best massage in the LA area and stumbled upon The Gendarmerie. Well, what a find they were… kind of like a lottery win. The owner and staff are unbelievably welcoming. The massage was so good and helped me so much that I went back again just two days later (I usually go only 4 times a year for massage)… I still feel great from 7 days ago. I also thought I’d pamper myself with a new hairstyle after having the same one for the past 20 years. Again, magic was done and their hairstylist was able to cover a thinning area and transform my style and I have been receiving numerous compliments on how good I look now from all my friends, co-workers and family… I’m not telling them my secret though (lol)…. I also tried the full body salt scrub and they exfoliated my entire body. I’ve never tried something like this before and it was truly amazing and then followed by a 30 minute massage. Next time, I am tempted to try another service they offer. I learned that the ownership and staff at The Gendarmerie have been there for decades and it is not only obvious that they mesh together as one big family but they also opened their arms to me and made me feel a part of their family as well. The prices for the services I had were more than fair and I would encourage my friends to definitely give them a try. I guarantee they will fall in love. I am from Toronto, Canada and am in the area 4 times a year for about one week each time visiting family and friends. I know where I will be spending a part of two days on each visit from now on. I am addicted to the massage, salt scrub and haircut and style. I only wish Toronto had such a high quality spa and a great family of ownership and staff behind it. Love all of my new best friends in LA / West Hollywood!!!

Ashley S.

The whole experience of coming here was a pleasure and very special. The small cottage feel makes this tucked away boutique feel like a find; a gem in the jungle of massage “factories” in LA. Everyone was so nice, calm, unassuming and respectful. And Juan is a gifted masseuse. He knew when to work out my “kinks” and when to just let it be a relaxing experience, one of the most relaxing I’ve had. Highly recommend!

Lisa R.

Another brilliant morning at the Gendarmerie in West Hollywood. I love everything about this place. The ambiance, the staff, the service… all top notch.I couldn’t recommend it more.

Daniel F.

I have had many massages in my time and this place for sure exceeded all of my expectations! Heaven on Earth!

Kyle E.

Last Sunday I had one of the most incredible massages with Juan!! He is extremely talented and very kind as well! This place is a little hidden gem and I am so happy that I discovered it. I will be making another appointment with Juan soon!

Justine R.

Juan at The Grendarmerie was by far the best massage I have ever had. I had a 50 minute massage that I don’t think could be categorized as sweedish, deep tissue, or hot stone because it was basically a combination of all three. the massage room was on the smaller size, but it in a good way. It was nice and cozy with candles burning and relaxation music playing. On top of the great massage all the other employees were absolutely amazing. I will definitely go back here and recommend this place to everyone I know.

Jade C.

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